Do your goals come with excess baggage?

What are the first thoughts in your mind when you read these statements:

I want to travel the world
I want to own the car of my dreams
I want own an apartment of my own

Do you hear a little voice in your mind that whispers something along the lines of:

I need to have the money first
How in the world I’m going to finance these dreams of mine?
Who in their right mind would give me what I want just like that?

Uh-oh, be careful.

Perhaps you would start to belief that you will need money first before you could achieve your wants or goals. That’s the sign that you’re picking up excess baggage on your journey towards your goals. And boy, would it be a gruelling journey dragging that weight around.

Especially after The Secret boom, many have tried to manifest their dreams and goals but to little or no visible results until much later. Some might have given up along the way.

It is not that LOA doesn’t work. The Universe just gets confused on what you really want to manifest sometimes. For example:

One moment you want to own that BMW, then the other second you want money because you want to be able to purchase the car.

See the Universe as a waiter taking your order. If you keep changing your orders, how can the waiter deliver what you want?

Check your thoughts. Be clear with what you want and leave the rest to the Universe. The Universe always knows the best way to lead you towards your goals or wants.

How do we chuck those excess baggage away?

As we progress through our lives, our belief system is programmed based on each experience we go through which then affect our thinking, actions and beliefs.

A few tools that help us focus on our goals rather than the baggage that comes with it are:

Vision board:
A vision board is a board where you put a collage of pictures, words or notes that reflects your wants or goals.

Put it at a place that you will see it often such as on the wall in front of your workdesk, next to your mirror or any other places that you are able to see it as often as possible. This tool can help you to stay focus on the goal, conditioning your mind on the outcome rather than the ‘how’s.

Prayer:
Another way you can do it is through prayer. Regardless of what religious background you come from, a little prayer can bring you a long way. Or if it feels more comfortable to you, offer a little request to the Universe for some help. (For more on the power of prayer with a scientific twist, my recommended read is “The Power of Your Subconscious Mind” by Dr. Joseph Murphy)

Repeat your prayer whenever you feel down or negative about your goals. Say your prayer in the morning when you get out of bed and just before you sleep. This will help you set your subconscious mind towards your goals. This acts as a boost towards manifesting your goals. :)

Hope these 2 tips are able to help you focus on your goals and reduce your baggage or beliefs that come along with your goals.

Other methods that I highly recommend to release those baggages are (click for more info):

• The Work by Katie Byron
• Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT)

(Photo credit: wiseacre photo)

Break free from your baggage and run free towards your goals!

The Work

For the past few entries I've mentioned about turning around your thoughts to focus on the positive. Turning your thoughts around is something I believe can change everyone's perception positively to cultivate a better environment for the world and I would like to thank Katie Byron for coming up with this method which is also known as The Work.

More about The Work...
So what is it? How can turning my thoughts around help me and is it that simple?

According to it's official website:

The Work is a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches you to identify and question thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It's a way to understand what's hurting you, and to address your problems with clarity.

People who do The Work as an ongoing practice report life-changing results.

Alleviation of depression:
Find resolution, and even happiness, in situations that were once debilitating.

Decreased stress:
Learn how to live with less anxiety or fear.

Improved relationships:
Experience deeper connection and intimacy with your partner, your parents, your children, your friends, and yourself.

Reduced anger:
Understand what makes you angry and resentful, and become less reactive, less often, with less intensity.

Increased mental clarity:
Live and work more intelligently and effectively, with integrity.

More energy:
Experience a new sense of ongoing vigor and well-being.

More peace:
Discover how to become "a lover of what is."





Who's the face behind The Work?

BYRON KATIE: became severely depressed in her early thirties. For almost a decade she spiraled down into depression, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom.

Then one morning in February 1986, she experienced a life-changing realization. There are various names for an experience like this. Katie calls it "waking up to reality."
In that instant of no-time, she says,

I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.

She realized that what had been causing her depression was not the world around her, but the beliefs she'd had about the world. Instead of hopelessly trying to change the world to match her thoughts about how it should be, she could question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience unimaginable freedom and joy. As a result, a bedridden, suicidal woman was instantly filled with love for everything life brings.

Katie's process of self-inquiry, called The Work, didn't develop from this experience; she says that it woke up with her, as her, that February morning in 1986. The first people who did The Work reported that it had transformed their lives, and she soon began receiving invitations to teach the process publicly.

Since 1986, she has brought The Work to hundreds of thousands of people across the world, at free public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, corporations, universities, schools, at weekend workshops, and at her amazing nine-day School for The Work.

***

I recommend The Work to those who seeks for peace and optimism in their lives. It is a method that I'm implementing in my live and I hope that you can benefit from this too.

What do you think about The Work? Do share your thoughts and even your queries. :)

Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

Thoughts

The Moment you are in Tension
You will lose your Attention
Then you are in total Confusion
And you will feel Irritation
Then you will spoil personal Relation
Ultimately, you won't get Co - Operation
Then you will make things Complication
Then your blood pressure may raise Caution
And you may have to take Medication
Instead, understand the Situation
And try to think about the Solution
Many problems will be solved by Discussion
This will work out better in your Profession
Don't think it's my free Suggestion
It's only for your Prevention
If you understand my Intention
You will never come again to Tension

- Bill Gates


I received this forward in my inbox recently which I think I should to share. Also, it so happens to be related to the topic of my post today which is the importance of your thoughts.

"Your outer circumstances are but a reflection of your inner thoughts."
Various authors

We act according to our emotions. For instance when we're happy we smile or when we're angry we clench our fists. All these actions are the results of your emotions but what causes you to feel those emotions?

It's your thoughts.

When I say thoughts it's actually your reaction to situations.

Take football fans for example. When their favourite team scores a goal, they'll jump up from their seats and throw their fists in the air or high-five their friends around them.

But when their team loses the ball to the opponent during a critical time, immediately the fans would groan and slap their foreheads, displaying their frustration over the mistake.

Whether we are football fans or not, we react pretty much the same way as they do, only in different situations.

It can happen anytime and anywhere... in your class, while you're working on your assignments, with your friends, when you're discussing with your parents, when you're at your part-time job and even when you're alone in your room.

If you can recall the last time you regretted losing your temper too quickly or for stressing too much about something that you have no control of, you'll understand what I mean.

It's not easy to control your emotions which affects your reaction but what you can control is your thoughts!

When you're angry, think of the positive side of things or whatever thoughts that can lighten your mood - there'll be less fist fights or quarrels.

When you're frustrated, stay away from the problem for awhile, take a walk and think of the good things that happened to you recently - you'll get to avoid burnouts and calm your mind.

Or when you're sad, listen to your favourite songs, think of 3 good things to be happy about yourself or the situation (every cloud has a silver lining) - things won't seem so bad after all. Who knows you'll find a solution to your problem?

So when you find yourself feeling under the blue, frustrated, extremely stressed or angry, stop and check your thoughts. Turn them around positively and look forward to a better outcome.

It's much better than resulting to medications when things go out of hand right?


Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

The HWS Summary

Here's a compilation of tips from the Happiness Week Special! Included are the things that I would like to highlight about each tip for your convenience.

To view the full articles, click on the tip title of your choice!

Another thing I would like to add is that these tips are no quick or permanent remedies. They are steps that you can adopt as part of your lifestyle to help put some cheer into your life.

By constantly practicing the 'happy lifestyle' even when you're not exactly in a positive situation, can help lighten the things around you and keep your mind focused on moving forward positively.

Without further ado, here are the 5 tips!


HAPPINESS TIP 1#

Open up your senses.

All you need to do is open up your senses and pick up the good things that you can come across whether it is during your drive to work, lunch at the cafeteria or your walk to your next class.

Anything can happen – anything good can happen.Noticing the simple, good things in life can make a difference to the quality of your day. It also makes being optimistic easier to do.

HAPPINESS TIP 2#

Laugh

When you're having a dull day, try laughter. Find a joke online or watch a funny video and laugh - you'll feel better.

Laughing encourages you to focus on the positive attitudes rather than the darker counterparts as it releases anger, fear, guilt, anxiety and tension.

It doesn't take long and it's really simple to do. It'll lighten things up a little in your day and your problems will be more bearable than before.

HAPPINESS TIP 3#

Do what you like to do.

It's pretty straight forward - you'll find happiness in the things that you enjoy doing. Make time for the things that you love to do but always seem not to have time for.

It's your choice really - if you can have time to work, you'll always have time for your favorite hobby even if it's just watching a movie on DVD at home.

Remember, it's your choice.

HAPPINESS TIP 4#

All you need to do is check your thoughts.

“All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts.”
James Allen

Start to listen to your thoughts and be aware of how you react to your surroundings.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking about the negative stuff, stop and turn those thoughts around.

IMPORTANT: THINK POSITIVE (at least think about something to look forward to for a start)

HAPPINESS TIP 5#

Stop comparing

The simple truth is that you’re unhappy because you’re comparing your circumstances…

Tim Brownson once stated that making comparisons make people unhappy.

Live in the moment by focusing on your current wellbeing and your life – not the ones of others.

Make peace with what you cannot change, or you will wrestle with it to your own ruin.
Andrew Ong, Hairstylist from Ipoh

Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

Happiness Tip 5#

Tim Brownson once stated that making comparisons make people unhappy.

The simple truth is that you’re unhappy because you’re comparing your circumstances…You may also be comparing yourself to somebody else that is better looking, earns more money, drives a faster car, has more hair, is more famous, or can eat a pound of chocolate without putting weight on.

Tim Brownson – Why People are Unhappy

I absolutely agree with Brownson.

You are your own person
You have unique combination of features and qualities that no one else has
Each of us grew up in different conditions, beliefs and limitations

It is doing you injustice by comparing yourself to another person whose circumstances are different than yours.

The tip: Stop comparing, Start Living!

With comparisons, often comes with complaints and with complaints comes the negative thoughts that doubt your ability to have the happiness you dream of.

Stop and check yourself. Remember Happiness Tip 4#? Be more than your moods. Be your own boss: delete the doubts and focus on finding a solution.

Live in the moment by focusing on your current wellbeing and your life – not the ones of others.

There are some things about you or in your life that you cannot change so you’ll have to live with them whether you like it or not.

As harsh as it may sound, there is something you can do about it. You can make peace with the less appealing aspects in your life and embrace the ones that make you feel great.

It’s better to have than have nothing at all.

Here’s a wise advice that I stumbled upon in a local newspapers awhile back:

Make peace with what you cannot change, or you will wrestle with it to your own ruin.

Andrew Ong, Hairstylist from Ipoh

He couldn’t have said it better.

Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

Happiness Tip 4#

“All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts.”

James Allen

Your thoughts are very powerful – they can be the cause of your downfall or success. The good news is that YOU are your own boss. YOU can control your thoughts. YOU can choose to succeed. YOU can achieve that happiness.

All you need to do is check your thoughts.

Let’s be realistic here. Negative thoughts do creep into our minds every now and then. We worry about our rising monthly expenses, we worry our houses will be broken into when we’re away on vacation or even worry about our cars, wondering whether we have locked them after leaving the car park.

We’ll be so full of these worries that we couldn’t even work, eat or sleep in peace!

But then again…

How do we know that all these ‘bad’ things would happen? What are the chances of them happening at all?

We wouldn’t know that for sure, would we?

So rather than wearing out your mind with these kinds of thoughts why don’t you turn your mind around to the positive side this time? See how it works out for your happiness.

Look forward to your pay-rise, enjoy and be grateful for the much needed vacation and feel happy that you actually found a space to park. :)

Start to listen to your thoughts and be aware of how you react to your surroundings.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking about the negative stuff, stop and turn those thoughts around.

It may take some time to condition your mind to generate such optimism after being in a very cautious society for so long but the results of positive thinking are priceless.

If you choose, you can feel peace in a moment of anxiety, happiness in a time of sadness and liveliness during a time of weakness.

Try it and you’ll be amazed at the extent of your power over your thoughts. After all you are your own best cheerleader.


Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

Happiness Tip 3#

I came across this great article on happiness aand I would like to share with you this particular point that I would like to add to the HAPPINESS LIST (look out for it on Friday!).

I think the point is well presented so I shall retain its authenticity by showing you the original snippet of the article. I present to you...

Happiness Tip 3#

Do what you like to do.

Success is not the key to happiness. Happiness is the key to success. If you love what you are doing, you will be successful.
Albert Schweitzer

Happiness is not in the mere possession of money; it lies in the joy of achievement, in the thrill of creative effort.
Franklin D. Roosevelt

A pretty obvious one. But it’s still easy to trap yourself into doing what you don’t want to for many, many hours. And seldom do what you really love to do. And I guess this one ties into tip #1. You may not be able to choose to do what you want to do right now. Or for many hours each day or week. But you almost always have a choice to do more of what you really want to do. There is always time. Or time you can free up . You have a choice.

Thanks Henrik Edberg for the excellent advice!

Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

Happiness Tip 2#

My tip for happiness today is really simple: LAUGH

What? Are you sure that laughing can make you really happy?

I believe that the little things in life can affect the quality of our lives whether it's irritating, frustrating or funny.

All it takes is a friend to crack a really good joke over lunch and I'll be back in class feeling lighter and refreshed after hours of lectures since morning.

My advice is: When you're having a dull day, try laughter. Find a joke online or watch a funny video and laugh - you'll feel better.

Laughing encourages you to focus on the positive attitudes rather than the darker counterparts as it releases anger, fear, guilt, anxiety and tension.

It doesn't take long and it's really simple to do. It'll lighten things up a little in your day and your problems will be more bearable than before.

So what are you waiting for? Laugh to a happier you!

For more laugh facts refer to Dr Standley!


Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories and comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

Photo by djcmeow♥

HAPPINESS WEEK SPECIAL

Having sifted through my ‘library’ I decided to make this week’s special on Happiness. By Friday you’ll have 5 tips (maybe even more) on being a happier person. You’ll also have a summary on the week’s special at the end of the week for your convenience.

Like every complete article there’s an introduction. In this introduction, rather than talk about why people become unhappy or why it exists in our lives which at the same time addresses why other people usually seem to be happier than we do… I’m going to ask you to forget about the why’s and focus on YOU.

Reason? Here’s your reality check – whining won’t make your problem go away. If you take even half the effort you put into complaining and applied it to solving your problem, you’ll not only become a happier person but you’ll also be surprised at your own ability to overcome the problem.

Imagine what you can achieve when you put in your 100%. It’ll be euphoric, I promise you.

With one tip to a happier you given even before I get to start on my proper list of tips, let’s kick start your journey with the basic.

Fundamentals, fundamentals, fundamentals…

Here’s an essential word which I find very important for newbies in self-development or personal growth: YOU.

“Duh, of course it’s me. Why else am I reading this article now?” I hear.

Not so fast my friend. Of course it’s about you but you must know that only YOU can help yourself. No tips in the world (even if it’s called 100% Fail-proof Ways to Happiness) can help you achieve your dream if you don’t do it. Even getting help from someone requires you to put the effort to ask right?

I’ve kept the first tip away from you long enough. Here’s the tip of the day!


HAPPINESS TIP 1#: Open up your senses

When and what was the last positive thought you had today?
When was the last time you had a “Hey, that’s cool!” moment?
Who and when was somebody courteous to you?
What made you feel good today?

Could you answer any of the questions in detail or at least vaguely remember that you had that moment today?

If you couldn’t it’s time that you open the windows and let some sunshine into your life.
It’s a sign that your mind is too preoccupied with your problems, work and responsibilities that they cloud your eyes from the good things in life.

Give yourself a break, slow down and enjoy what’s around you even during a busy day.

All you need to do is open up your senses and pick up the good things that you can come across whether it is during your drive to work, lunch at the cafeteria or your walk to your next class. Anything can happen – anything good can happen.

It can be anything and everything from overhearing a joke when you’re in the lift, realizing that the nasi lemak man has put a bigger piece of egg with extra sambal in your takeaway, receiving a thank you when you opened the door open for others and even to smelling your favourite aroma of, let’s say, freshly baked cookies and coffee! (Have a look at this photo by ♥ melissa ♥. :)

Basically anything that will make you feel good or laugh!

Noticing the simple, good things in life can make a difference to the quality of your day. It also makes being optimistic easier to do.

The best thing is that it only takes a minute to notice the little good things in your life with minimal effort.

All you have to do is listen, observe and taste the good things around you that you will automatically feel good and happy.


Here’s a challenge for you:

Do this for a week and list down minimum 3 good things that you noticed each day. Note how you feel by the end of each day.

By the end of the week notice how your mood has improved. If you like what you feel go on and do it for another 14 days and noticing the little good things in your daily life will be like second nature to you.
(NOTE: According to Robin Sharma, author of The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari, it takes 21 days for humans to develop a new habit).

Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories and comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.