Success

For the past week I made decisions that I never saw coming my way so soon. I thought it would take much later for me face them but I floated with the current and I'm glad that I did.

Many times I've thought about my decision, doubted it, supported it, doubted it again but in the end I decided to root for it (read: myself) because doubts and fear won't get me anywhere. It'll only remain heavy in my heart while washing my self-confidence down the drain, spiralling down the never-ending gutter.

It's because of that decision I know I've set a solid foundation for my career and boosted my first step into financial indepence. And that's the scary part.

You can say (and I admit) it's the fear of success.

"People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achieve them. We, their hearts become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good, but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sands. Because, when these things happen, we suffer terribly."

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

It happens to me and it is this fear that's holding me back from what I have the potential to gain. It's so scary that it immobilise you in your tracks while whispering doubts into your ear as you step outside of your comfort zone.

But I realised that everything's going to be just fine. What is there to be afraid of when it's not for sure that those threats exist in the first place?!

How can I be sure that my future employer would be disappointed in me when I'm willing to work my butt off?

How would I know that things would go wrong half-way when in fact everything's going to plan?

How would I know that I wouldn't be able to make ends meet when everything's just fine?


Rather than spend your time and energy worrying about things that don't exist, enjoy the things that do.

I've set on a career and secured a job before graduation. Shouldn't I be rejoicing it rather than fear about what could go wrong?

As silly as it may sound to some, I think there are many out there who share the same kind of fear of what lies ahead, the sacrifices we have to make, the unknown obstacles that drop on us unexpectedly and the things that we are not comfortable with...yet.

But tell your heart this:

“The fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself.”

Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

Not doing the things that you want or holding yourself back from the experiences that will bring your far in life because of fear would only bring more suffering. It brings no satisfaction at all.

Even though I've just made that first step towards a great life and haven't seen its rewards yet, I know that what's more important is that I didn't hold myself back and there will be no looking back wondering if I could've had a better life.

All I had to do was make that positive decision.

So can YOU.

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Here's an inspiring photo by tdoxie aptly named, Don't Fear What Lies Ahead.



Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

The Work

For the past few entries I've mentioned about turning around your thoughts to focus on the positive. Turning your thoughts around is something I believe can change everyone's perception positively to cultivate a better environment for the world and I would like to thank Katie Byron for coming up with this method which is also known as The Work.

More about The Work...
So what is it? How can turning my thoughts around help me and is it that simple?

According to it's official website:

The Work is a simple yet powerful process of inquiry that teaches you to identify and question thoughts that cause all the suffering in the world. It's a way to understand what's hurting you, and to address your problems with clarity.

People who do The Work as an ongoing practice report life-changing results.

Alleviation of depression:
Find resolution, and even happiness, in situations that were once debilitating.

Decreased stress:
Learn how to live with less anxiety or fear.

Improved relationships:
Experience deeper connection and intimacy with your partner, your parents, your children, your friends, and yourself.

Reduced anger:
Understand what makes you angry and resentful, and become less reactive, less often, with less intensity.

Increased mental clarity:
Live and work more intelligently and effectively, with integrity.

More energy:
Experience a new sense of ongoing vigor and well-being.

More peace:
Discover how to become "a lover of what is."





Who's the face behind The Work?

BYRON KATIE: became severely depressed in her early thirties. For almost a decade she spiraled down into depression, rage, self-loathing, and constant thoughts of suicide; for the last two years she was often unable to leave her bedroom.

Then one morning in February 1986, she experienced a life-changing realization. There are various names for an experience like this. Katie calls it "waking up to reality."
In that instant of no-time, she says,

I discovered that when I believed my thoughts, I suffered, but that when I didn’t believe them, I didn’t suffer, and that this is true for every human being. Freedom is as simple as that. I found that suffering is optional. I found a joy within me that has never disappeared, not for a single moment. That joy is in everyone, always.

She realized that what had been causing her depression was not the world around her, but the beliefs she'd had about the world. Instead of hopelessly trying to change the world to match her thoughts about how it should be, she could question these thoughts and, by meeting reality as it is, experience unimaginable freedom and joy. As a result, a bedridden, suicidal woman was instantly filled with love for everything life brings.

Katie's process of self-inquiry, called The Work, didn't develop from this experience; she says that it woke up with her, as her, that February morning in 1986. The first people who did The Work reported that it had transformed their lives, and she soon began receiving invitations to teach the process publicly.

Since 1986, she has brought The Work to hundreds of thousands of people across the world, at free public events, in prisons, hospitals, churches, corporations, universities, schools, at weekend workshops, and at her amazing nine-day School for The Work.

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I recommend The Work to those who seeks for peace and optimism in their lives. It is a method that I'm implementing in my live and I hope that you can benefit from this too.

What do you think about The Work? Do share your thoughts and even your queries. :)

Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.

Oolong tea for the soul

I received this story in my email inbox today and it got me thinking. What kind of person am I when facing adversities? Or rather...what kind of person I become during and after adversities.

It made me more aware of how I react to situations and how it has affected me all these years. After going through it in my head several time, the story has motivated me to be even more optimistic and see the brighter side of things.

Here's the story and I hope it will help you in your journey in personal growth:


A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed Oolong tea.

She let them sit and boil; without saying a word. In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl. Then she ladled the Oolong out and placed it in a bowl.

Turning to her daughter, she asked, 'Tell me what you see.'

'Carrots, eggs, and Oolong tea,' she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft.

The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the Oolong. The daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma The daughter then asked, 'What does it mean, mother?'

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently.

The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak.

The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its inside became hardened.

The Oolong tea was unique, however. After they were in the boiling water , they had changed the water color and taste.

'Which are you?' she asked her daughter. 'When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

Think of this: Which am I?

Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the Oolong tea? The tea actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the tea, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level?

How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a Oolong tea?

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past; you can't go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches. When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so at the end, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.



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Happiness Tip 4#

“All that you accomplish or fail to accomplish with your life is the direct result of your thoughts.”

James Allen

Your thoughts are very powerful – they can be the cause of your downfall or success. The good news is that YOU are your own boss. YOU can control your thoughts. YOU can choose to succeed. YOU can achieve that happiness.

All you need to do is check your thoughts.

Let’s be realistic here. Negative thoughts do creep into our minds every now and then. We worry about our rising monthly expenses, we worry our houses will be broken into when we’re away on vacation or even worry about our cars, wondering whether we have locked them after leaving the car park.

We’ll be so full of these worries that we couldn’t even work, eat or sleep in peace!

But then again…

How do we know that all these ‘bad’ things would happen? What are the chances of them happening at all?

We wouldn’t know that for sure, would we?

So rather than wearing out your mind with these kinds of thoughts why don’t you turn your mind around to the positive side this time? See how it works out for your happiness.

Look forward to your pay-rise, enjoy and be grateful for the much needed vacation and feel happy that you actually found a space to park. :)

Start to listen to your thoughts and be aware of how you react to your surroundings.

Whenever you catch yourself thinking about the negative stuff, stop and turn those thoughts around.

It may take some time to condition your mind to generate such optimism after being in a very cautious society for so long but the results of positive thinking are priceless.

If you choose, you can feel peace in a moment of anxiety, happiness in a time of sadness and liveliness during a time of weakness.

Try it and you’ll be amazed at the extent of your power over your thoughts. After all you are your own best cheerleader.


Thank you for reading this article! Do share your thoughts, stories or comments. Feedback is highly valued here at The Present Gift. Feel free to drop a comment or e-mail me – just click on the Contact tab at the top of the page for my details.